Now here’s a sad story when you think of it,
About a man who once was quick of wit.
Then one day he had a mighty fall,
And he could not do anything right at all.
He was deep slumping, deep slumping.
If he were a limo he’d be Cinderella’s pumpkin.
Deep slumping.

Well, I was a ballplayer, I had my gifts.
Then all of a sudden I started to go down on whiffs.
I just could not get around on the ball.
I’d work the count full. Strike called!
Deep slumping, deep slumping.
If I were a Ferrari I’d be speed-bumping.
Deep slumping.

I told my baby, sure, I’d do right,
Work all day and come home at night.
Pay the bills, wash the car,
Just as soon as I finish playing my guitar.
Deep slumping, deep slumping,
If I were a basement I’d be sump-pumping.
Deep slumping.

Well I’m a professor, not just of the blues.
Absent-minded, shoot, that ain’t news.
One day my students stopped and stared.
I delivered my lecture in my underwear.
Deep slumping, deep slumping,
If I were kung-fu I’d be drunken-monking.
Deep slumping.

A UFO landed n my yard.
They told me they’d take me to see the stars and God.
They said, pack your things and be back in a minute.
The phone rang. “Hi, Mom.” That did it.
Deep slumping, deep slumping,
If I were a camel I wouldn’t have enough humping.
Deep slumping.

I went to a doctor to get me a cure.
He said, “Son, there’s one thing i know for sure.
We can sit here for months just flapping and rapping.
It won;t do no good, that stuff happens.
Deep slumping, deep slumping,
I’m out on a date and my pumper stops pumping.
Deep slumping.